The Jvm

You can get it anywhere and it always tastes bad, but a lot of people insist it’s the only way to get drunk. There’s only one recipe and nobody can agree on what it is, except it’s frozen and shouldn’t be. It takes all of your memory to drink it and you pause mid-sip sometimes.

Fizzbuzz

Way too basic to drink unironically, but everyone knows how to make it. It’s a Coors Light with a shot of Bud Light in it.

Stack Overflow

A Long Island iced tea with a Bailey’s floater.

The Staff Engineer

It costs $400. Nobody knows what it does.